• amyobrien

Believe Her

As a society, when a woman speaks her needs, we just don't listen.

Instead we encourage her to push through.

To stick to deadlines and pick up times.

And it's hurting us.

I've been treating a woman recently. She is unwell, and has come to the realisation she cannot maintain the facade of All Being Well a moment longer. She cannot 'put on a brave face' or 'suck it up' anymore.

And yet, her partner asks her to push though. Her boss does too.

Try as she might, there is no pushing though some things.

Truth be told, she had been pushing for quite some time already.

Period pain. Premenstrual mood changes. Debilitating morning sickness. Postnatal depletion. Sleep deprivation. Anxiety. Depression. Gut disfunction. Body pain.

Hers is a story that I see in the clinic almost every day.

And so,

A Reminder for us all -

to Believe Her.


When she says she's tired

and that she needs to go to bed

Believe Her.

When she says she's too nauseous

to extend

or pretend

one moment more

Believe Her.

When she says she's too wired

Or too overwhelmed

Believe Her.

When her body aches,

and she's in too much pain -

When she cannot function with her normal vigour

Hear Her.

Believe Her.

As women we rally.

We rally and rally

and rally

all the way to the depths of our own deep depletion.

Thankfully, as women

We are awakening to this.

We are gathering all our experinces together

and seeing that

when our bodies are empty

No One Wins.

We are Finding our Voice,

Standing in our Power

and Asking for the Help

we so desperately sometimes need.

So now, this woman, She is Asking.

And that's incredible.

Asking is a very important part of the dance.

But who is listening?

The other half of the dance.

The part we need to work on.

In our society

Who is listening?

So that when she does speak

As a collective

We Hear Her.

So that when she cries

that very real cry:

I am too tired. I am in so much pain. All this stuff is getting on top of me

We catch her.

We do not ask her

to put on a brave face

one second more.

We do not

tell her to push through

one second more.

We do not dismiss her

by telling her

that she will be fine.

We find a more compassionate way.

A more real way.

We breathe.

We breathe as we recognise

that by the time she asks for help

she has already run through

the thousands of reasons why she shouldn't need it.

The thousands of people more deserving.

We recognise that

she is likely feeling guilt and shame and not enough-ness

at the simple act of asking for support.

And we know

Oh, we know -

By the time she is voicing her pain

and asking for help

it is truly our job to listen.

Because we now appreciate the context.

We see her backstory -

the hardness of the asking -

and we know that so much has already unfolded.

That this is Not Day One of this struggle.

Our compassion flows for her.

And so

we do not ask her to rally.

We ask her to rest.

When she let's that divine softness be,

and extends the fragility of her struggles to us

We meet her there.

We show up for her

with deep compassion and real solutions

to rest, recover and redefine.

To re-establish her divine flow.

There is no greater force of good -

for our world and for our future

than a woman

who has been given the space

to rebuild herself.

Oomph. This is the world I want to live in.


To the woman suffering.

Trying to push though and push through.

Once you find your voice

Keep asking us.

Keep asking for help.

We will do our best to listen

To act,

And to Catch You.

Keep asking.


Where can you listen to the deep inside of a womans story this week? How can you catch her? Can you be the woman who speaks to her own story and her own deep needs, so that others have to opportunity to extend that same holding back to you?


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